Dirty Dick’s Uranium Mine Found!

After countless pizzas’ worth of Google searches, we’ve finally re-discovered Dirty Dick Baron’s condemned uranium mine!

After clearing a path through all the vulture, prairie dog, and coyote carcasses, we quickly got to work sending child after child into mines until one came back!

With his last breath as he passed the longbox of Rescue TRAIN comics with his shaking hands, he said: “The peace of God’s own playground lives within.” Probably. There was a lot of gurgling and it’s hard to make out every syllable through a radiation suit we bought off Wish.

It is with great enthusiasm—but appropriately muted reverence—that we bring you our first found issue of Rescue TRAIN: “The Banzai Runner.”